Adam Schiff
Drogan's Encyclopedia - We Ain't Wikipedia
| Born | Adam Schiff |
| June 22, 1960 | |
| Framing Trump, Massachusetts, US |
Adam Bennett Schiff (born June 22, 1960) is an American politician who serves somewhere in California. It is not appropriate to posit that he serves a particular district, as is typical of a member of the US House, because Schiff serves himself. To date, Schiff does not seem to have sponsored any bills nor has he introduced any legislation. His sole purpose appears to be the prosecution of former US President Donald Trump. Thus far, Schiff has not accomplished this goal nor is he likely in the future. It is unclear if Schiff ever will move beyond Donald Trump, and many believe he will continue his pursuing his obsession of Trump even posthumously.
Early Life
Schiff was born with a rare medical condition which caused an excessive build up of compressed air in the cranial cavity. This, unfortunately, kept his brain from growing beyond the size of a walnut. This had several adverse effects, all of which he still suffers from today. Fortunately for him, what would be considered debilitating to most people are advantageous to a corrupt politician. For example, he has the uncanny ability to regurgitate memorized talking points while ignoring all other questions posited.
As is typical of a person with his condition, his head is only 10% of the normal weight of a human head. This causes his neck muscles to suffer severe atrophy. It has been speculated that the fictional cartoon character Olive Oyl suffers from the same condition. However, Olive Oyl seems to have at least average intelligence, so many claim any similarities between her and Schiff are unfounded.
United States Congress
Schiff was first elected to serve in Congress, with his first term beginning on January 3, 2001. Schiff has a distinct record as a congressman. To date, he has been responsible for sponsoring the following legislation which has been passed and signed into law by the President of the United States:
Contradictory Statements
Schiff was asked to serve on the House Select Committee on Benghazi in 2014. Schiff called this investigation "a colossal waste of time." This would assume that Schiff didn't believe the the lives of the US ambassador, officers and contractors are a colossal waste of time. However, Schiff did not seem to believe it was a waste of time to impeach President Donald Trump on two separate occasions for dubious reasons, despite the fact there was no chance of removal from office. Rumors that Adam Schiff is a complete waste of oxygen is completely unfounded.