Hit John Brennan in the Face with a Lemon Meringue Pie Day

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Unfortunately, we feel it is appropriate to remind you that this is SATIRE. As tempting as it is to do this, the laws in most states do not allow you to throw a dessert treat of suspect nutritional value at a disgraced former CIA director. If you decide to take part in this act, you can rest assured that Drogans.com will not take responsibility for anyone committing an irresponsible act.

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The man, the myth, the legend in his own mind, John Brennan
DateSeptember 23

John Brennan is the former CIA director under Obama who, along with FBI director James Comey, orchestrated a plot to unseat the President-elect Donald Trump. John Brennan voted for the Communist party in 1980 for the US President. It is unclear to many how someone of this stature could be promoted to the level of CIA director. However, given the generally bad decisions commonly made by the Obama administration, it makes perfects sense.

This holiday was created in honor of John Brennan and his contributions, or lack thereof, to society. It is celebrated on September 23rd of every year. Although many believe the holiday should be on September 22, since that is Brennan's birthday, people who celebrate "Hit John Brennan in the Face with a Lemon Meringue Pie Day" typically use this day as a national day of mourning.

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History

This special day dates back to 2017 when John Brennan worked with FBI Director James Comey to push the Russia Collusion hoax to remove Trump from office. Although many blame Comey as the instigator, which is probably true, Brennan is the one who actually voted for the Communist party. Some have called this holiday mean spirited and cruel, most believe that this is the nicest thing that can be done for Brennan considering he started a coup to overthrow the government. Some people do not like the holiday because they feel that a lemon meringue pie has done nothing wrong and should not be soiled by coming into physical contact with Brennan's ugly, bald head.

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A traditional lemon meringue pie, which is recommended on Hit John Brennan in the Face with a Lemon Meringue Pie Day

Celebration

Those who celebrate have their own distinct customs. However, it is generally agreed that this celebration have the following key components:

  • The lemon meringue pie should be made with the cheapest ingredients using the most inexpensive pie pan available.

  • No sugar should be added to the pie; this matches the generally sour attitude exhibited by Brennan.

  • Throw the pie as weakly as possible. This represents the weakened state of our intelligence services thanks in no small part to Brennan.

  • Since Brennan is too cowardly to show his face in public, most will hit a replica picture of either Stalin, Lenin or other Communists who inspired Brennan.

This page was last edited on 27 January 2023, at 03:15 (UTC).
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